Mistress Talia: a sadistic domme

I previously posted about the submissive who first evoked my lust for blood and my subsequent interest in knife play.

As I became interested in cutting, I discussed it with others and soon found those who shared my interest.

Though stories are better with lots of details, to some degree, I feel the need to hide details, in order not to betray the confidence of the submissive involved. Thus I must deal in generalities.

The submissive involved was extremely masochistic, indeed I often despaired that I could not inflict pain he would not enjoy without damaging him. He was also both submissive and had significant humiliation buttons for me to play with.

How do I explain this? We were close, but we were not close. In the D/s relationship, we were very intimate of course. I "got" his buttons, knew his submission well. But outside of those roles, while I enjoyed his company and found him intelligent, interesting and entertaining, there was no emotional component to the relationship. We were not lovers in any sense, outside of the femdom interaction between us we were merely acquaintances.

Because of the lack of emotional intimacy, I didn't really want to cut him. The idea of cutting had become nearly an obsession for me, but it seemed a very profound activity, not one to engage in casually. I had decided not to ever cut him, though he knew I shared his fantasy about it, he did not know I had decided not to do it.

The scene I am about to describe occurred within the context of several days of scening, days of pain, bondage, humiliation, trials upon trials that I heaped upon him for my gratification. After wringing so much out of him, on this particular day, I tied him spreadeagled to the bed.

As he watched, I removed a toy from my toy bag he'd never seen before... a knife. This particular knife was shaped like a dagger, but unlike a dagger, it only had one sharp side, the other side being dull.

The tension built incredibly as he watched me prepare. I washed the knife. Then I put on sterile gloves, laid out a sterile bandage, rinsed the knife with isopropyl alcohol, and placed it on the bandage to air dry.

While it dried, I got a couple washcloths and thoroughly washed his chest with hot water and antibacterial soap, rinsed him off with hot water, then rinsed a second time with more isopropyl alcohol.

He was shaking and obviously terrified as I turned away from him and retrieved a blindfold from my bag. Confused and distraught as I placed it on his head, leaving him in the dark.

Alone with his thoughts, except for the presence of a woman who he knew wanted to cut him, who he knew had a clean and sterile knife, who he knew lusted for blood...

I retrieved the knife, ran the sharp edge gently over his nech and ears.

And then I put the point to his throat.

Then with much, much more pressure than would cut an orange completely in half, I pressed the knife into his flesh and cut him all the way down to his crotch.

The room exploded with sexual passion, terror and desire mixed. We both "climaxed" in an incredibly intense way that did not involve orgasm.

Of course, I had used the dull side of the knife, and thus not cut him at all. ;)

Had I used the other side, he'd have undoubtedly been butchered. I explained that to him most carefully when he later expressed his feelings to me, and told of his disappointment when I'd removed the blindfold to realize that I'd not actually cut him.

But until that moment, he'd had the actual experience of being cut by me. Sometimes, reality just can't quite fulfill fantasies for real, but the feelings can come quite close.

And I remain a virgin to cutting now, several years later. I still feel it is profound and intense, not something to be done lightly. But the idea still greatly excites and inflames me.

I still search for the submissive who would bleed for me. Indeed, I am squirming in my hair as I write this post...